My <3

This is Mark. We will have been dating for a year in the beginning of May. Although it seems like not that long of a time span, we have had a very intense relationship and have been through a lot together. We work together, we have the same friends, we lived together for 6 months unexpected, his parents are dead, he helped me leave my house and deal with a lot of problems I was facing. We are both very comfortable around one another, he is my best friend, he is my closest family. He is 24, I am 19. It seems silly to be so serious at such a young age, but there is something different about him, he has some sort of power over me that blurs my normally level headed, rational way of thinking. He has taken care of me in certain situations and cared for me, when I really had no where else to go and no one else to turn to. I still get butterflies when he calls on the phone. I don't care at all when other guys try to talk to me, I only want him.

I am not sure if it is the winter blues that have me in a huff or what it is, but I am really confused about us right now. When we lived together, it was an unplanned move, and turned out to not be the best one for us, or me. We came very close to breaking up and things were NOT going well near the end. Now that I have moved out, things are better, but this kid is by far one of the most confusing people I have ever dated. I am partially to blame because I over analyze, a lot. But to me, it seems like one day he is all about me, like I am every single Victoria's Secret model blended into one and he can't get enough, the next day I'm wondering if we are doing okay or not. He went to visit Scottsdale Arizona this past weekend and got home yesterday at 5. I was nervous about him going, he was going down there with his friends, who are all single, and going to a wedding. I have seen the movie wedding crashers ya know? They all aren't bad looking guys either. This is just a short into of what I am really concerned about, but i am already tired of writing this and I'm pretty sure no one will read it this far, so I am goign to stop. I just kinda wanted to get some stuff out, even though I really didn't get to the stuff that's bothering me...